The Sacred Seasons of Healing

“I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

Fall has always been my favorite season.  I love the way the sun paints orange through the evening skies, the unpredictable colors that wave from tree branches, the way Summer lingers and flirts with Fall so she can stay a bit longer to dance and sing with the birds who like her best.  All Seasons are sacred, though. Each whispers incredible wisdom. Each longs to be noticed and experienced.  Each stays for a while and then exits, leaving us with an incandescent imprint in our lives, captured by memory.

I think life imitates nature.  I know my journey through healing has been a walk through Seasons.  During the early steps of my journey, when the pain was too intense and powerful to even feel sometimes, Spring buds began to emerge within.  So slowly, these tiny buds of Strength began to sprout, giving me just enough Hope to open the door behind me, letting the pain and memories from the past enter my heart.  I was in a whirlwind of Agony, but Hope kept me grounded and focused on my healing path, and I finally had the strength to walk forward.

Summer came, and the sprouts of Hope multiplied into Courage in such great abundance!  The Agony I was so very afraid to feel suddenly had opponents - gifts from my Sacred Summer - and I no longer had to face Agony empty-handed; I was armed with something much more powerful.  Agony decided to try to fool me by relentlessly cycling through Grief, Anger, Helplessness, and Sadness, but I had Hope and Courage with me and I knew I was stronger and much more resilient than Agony could ever be.

Fall emerged, fully prepared with the beautiful colors of Acceptance, Surrender, Love and Faith.  Summer lingered, as she tends to do, so Hope and Courage joined the other beautiful colors as I continued to walk my journey.  Agony continued to strike at every opportunity, but Acceptance diffused its power, Surrender allowed me to look Agony in the face, and Love carried me through the worst of times.  Faith picked me up when I fell, and pointed me in the right direction even though Agony’s street signs were at times right in front of me, trying to trick me in the wrong direction.

I am entering the Winter of this healing cycle.  I feel myself releasing what no longer serves me, ridding myself of emotions and thoughts that my earlier Seasons have helped me finally face and work through.  I see the beauty of the White Quilt that will cover me this season, keeping me warm with Peace and Wisdom. 

Earlier today, as I reflected on my journey, I decided to step outside to watch the white falling snow.  I closed my eyes, just for a second, to remember the orange warmth of Fall.  Winter softly whispered to me, “Don’t wish me away too soon.  Try to listen to the Stillness I have for you.”  With that, I suddenly realized that I’m exactly where I need to be - and I am finally free.

 

My latest watercolor, 'Seasons'